The Yummy Mummies Survival Guide

Being a mum is the hardest job in the world…FACT!  I don’t know any other job that requires you to be on call 24/7, demands you to multi-skill on broken sleep, makes you come in no matter how sick you are and doesn’t pay penny!  It requires every drop of energy you have and it doesn’t matter how difficult your clients (our babies) are, we can’t swap them for the better behaved ones or send them back!  That being said, even whilst doing the hardest job in the world, many of us forget how important it is to take care of ourselves and find that exhaustion and praying for bedtime is a normal part of our day.  We put our own needs on hold and focus all of our attention on being the best mum we can be.  We believe that as long as the children are happy then that’s all that matters, even if it is at the sacrifice of our own health and happiness. 

Now I’m not here to say that your children are not important or that their needs do not need to be fulfilled, but I am here to tell you that YOU MATTER TOO and that in order to be able to look after others to your best ability, you MUST start to take care of yourself and realise that you are a priority in your own life!  There is nothing we can do about the sleepless nights, the tantrums, the mess, the noise or the chaos that comes with being a mum but there is much we can do able how we deal with it and have a much better chance of feeling sane! 

MY STORY 

But before I go any further I should say why I am feeling the need to share this information and let you know WHY I have made it my job to help mums find themselves again.  So here goes….. 

I was 22 when I had my son. Before I became pregnant I was so excited about becoming a mum and I wanted a big family.  The Waltons were my inspiration and if you are in your 30’s you will know what I am talking about.  I had visions of what it would be like and I was excited for it all!  I had a plan and I was ready, but then everything changed.  At 4.5 months pregnant I found out that my partner was being unfaithful and my big plan came crashing around me.
Before I even brought my baby into the world I was trying to figure out how I was going to do it alone.  I was overwhelmed with depression and that just got worse when my son was born.  There were many days that I couldn’t even leave the house as I couldn’t hold the tears in long enough to be able to pop to the shop!  I was a mess, I was broken and I had completely lost myself.  I had to leave my job whilst I was pregnant cause I couldn’t stop crying and I had to rely fully on the benefit system.  I didn’t know who I was anymore or what I wanted in life and so the fight for survival began.  Aside from trying to be a mum I had no idea what I needed to do to make things better.  Initially I focused on building a life from the outside (University, working hard, runaway holidays and any other distraction that would take the focus away from my unhappiness) but eventually I realised that the only way to make my life better and to become the happy and healthy mum I wanted to be I needed to work on myself from the inside out and that’s what I want to help you do.
Throughout this process I felt alone, like I wasn’t good enough, like I wasn’t meant to be a mum and that I would never enjoy it.  I was doing everything out of duty and very little out of love…no matter what I might have said to the people around me.  I resented being a mum cause I felt like it was the thing holding me back in life and I resented going to work cause I felt like it was stopping me being a good mum!  You can imagine the confusion and maybe you even feel like this yourself?
Whether you can relate to this story or not, I know that by sharing my story to others, people have been able to say…ME TOO, and start to work on themselves so they can stop pretending everything is ok and start taking steps that help them be the best versions of themselves and in turn, be the mum that they want to be

So here are 3 simple stepping stones to get you started.  If you have any questions or you would like to know more about what we do and how we can help then please get in touch!
Lots of Love Stacey x x x 

Yummy Mummy Survial Guide – 3 steps to get started! 

Step 1 – Know your worth, drop the guilt and put yourself first 

There is a reason why they tell you to put your oxygen mask on before you put it on your child in the air stewardess demonstration of an aeroplane and that’s because unless you look after yourself first, you CAN NOT look after anyone else! This rule applies on land as well as in the air and is something we all need to learn from.  So before you put this is the bin and say, my kids always come first, remember that this will 100% be the best gift you can ever give to you child…..a happy, healthy mum who has the energy and enthusiasm to spend time with them!  So your first step is to accept and acknowledge that you are worth the time, you don’t need to feel guilty and its ok to put yourself first sometimes!  Without this step, you will probably find it hard to do the rest so read it again and again until it sinks in! You ARE worth it, you DON’T have to feel guilty and you are allowed to come FIRST! 

Step 2 – Assess you day, book it in and make it happen 

Now this step will be different for everyone but you can build it around your schedule and what you like to do.  The important thing is that you make the time for YOURSELF and understand the importance of it!  The number 1 thing I hear mums say is that they don’t have enough time, they are SUPER busy and that they are exhausted!  This is obviously no surprise, but something that can be soul crushing over time as the busyness, time consuming activities and exhaustion are a result of all the things you are doing for everyone else and not any of it for yourself.  You end up being like an athlete who trains every single day and considers a 5 hour sleep your rest!  An athlete would burn out too and this is why your rest/downtime doing something you like is essential.  Now, ideally this time would be at least an hour a day but if you’re finding this whole idea already hard to swallow then 10 minutes would be a start and you can build on it.  This time can be a hot bubble bath on your own, a swim, a walk, mediation, a workout, time with friends, a film of your choice or time reading a personal development book.  Whatever it is, it’s a time for you to reboot, refuel and recharge your batteries so you have the get up and go to take on the ongoing roller-coaster of life as a mum.  Its ok to step off, it will all still be there waiting for you the next day….I promise!! 

Step 3 – Don’t be afraid to ask for help, open up and talk 

If you are looking at step 2 and thinking how the hell you are going to find the time to do it or even if you are struggling in general then this step is for you!  Lots of us feel that 1; our needs don’t matter 2; everyone else is getting on with it so we should too and 3; asking for help is a sign of weakness.  Although we might feel like this, it doesn’t make it true and I want you to know that if you are finding things hard, then you ARE NOT alone!  We all struggle, we all paint on the smile and we all feel that if we struggle then we are a failure as a mum! ITS NORMAL! What’s not normal, but should be, is us actually speaking about it and doing something about it!  If everyone thinks your SUPERMUM then they are unlikely to offer help, open up themselves or suggest things that might help! Whether its speaking to your partner, a friend, your family or even your local mums group volunteers, its so important to ASK FOR HELP when you need it!  You will be surprised who is willing to help and also who else is actually struggling themselves.  It could lead to the cuddle you have needed, an offer for some time out, a book recommendation, a link to further help or simply a weight off your shoulders that comes from letting it all out!  Don’t be afraid to ask for help, be honest and share the struggle….it could be the moment that everything changes! 

 

Stacey Nowicki
Health & Lifestyle Coach
The Feel Fabulous Project 

Helping Mums Find Themselves Again 

2 comments
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Comments

  • Stacey Nowicki

    March 27, 2019 at 12:14 pm
    Reply

    Thank you for your interest in working with us Cathy. Please pop me an email at stacey@thefelfabulousproject.co.uk and we can organise a chat x

  • CathyCrorm

    March 22, 2019 at 2:04 am
    Reply

    Hello, I want to work in your company on a voluntary basis, can you offer me anything? a little about me:https://about.me/kurdimova/

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