A mums guide on how to get through the summer holidays… And still be slightly sane at the end.

As the summer holidays descend upon us, it time for us mums to prepare ourselves for the battle ahead. I can already see the fear in their eyes as they do the mental countdown to doom day in their heads. Can you relate to this? If you are one of those mums that LOVE the summer holidays and can’t wait to spend 24 hours a day with your children then 1; I take my hat off to you and 2; I want to know what medication you are taking and how I can get me some of that👀.

All jokes aside, the summer can be lovely, but for some of us it means a lack of structure, a messy house, messy hair, late nights and still a lovely early morning wake up call from our kids asking, ‘What Are We Doing Today and where’s my breakfast??’.  The first couple of days are welcomed as we don’t have to get up for the school run, but after that it’s 5.5 weeks of wondering how the hell the teachers do it?? We end up having a new found respect for them teachers and what they have to deal with while we are enjoying our freedom during termtime.

For the mums who are working full time, this time of year can be even harder. Paying through the nose for childcare or juggling the many friends and associates we have to call upon to help us keep our jobs, while battling with the guilt of if we made the right choice to work! We watch others on social media pretending to have a great time at the beach with their kids (we all know they are not having that much fun, surely???) and we try our best to keep our eyes open while we make the most of the last bit of sunshine waiting for us when we FINALLY get home.

Whatever your circumstances, I know your pain. I have been the full time working mum with a small child, I have been the mum who struggles with her mental health towards the end of the holidays (no jokes, actually don’t think it’s normal to spend that much time with any human, let alone your child lol) and I have actually also been that mum who enjoys the holidays…. Who knew that was possible?? Well I’m here to tell you it is possible for ALL mums but there are some fundamental foundations and some acceptance we need to be at one with in order for this to happen. I am here to pass on these words of wisdom and say from one mum to another… We all hate our kids sometimes and that’s OK! Let’s get started…..

Steps to survive the Summer….

1 – Accept that change is inevitable and you WILL have to adapt.
I think most of the time, we struggle so much with the holidays because we want things to stay the same, even though they really are not. We have to accept that our kids are going to want our time and that they will NOT care if the house is a mess. Things are going to be different. Structure will be lost, the kids will be under your feet and you won’t be able to do everything that you are used to doing. The simple act of accepting this will provide you with some peace, I promise. If we are stuck in our heads and trying to control the uncontrollable circumstances around us then we WILL go mad so just let that shit go! We are all in this together and we will all have the crazy going on so don’t feel like your alone… You definitely are not!!

2 – No matter what the weather…. GET OUTSIDE… For at least 20 minutes a day.
This is going to be part of our focus in The Feel Fabulous Project VIP Members Club this week and we will be partnering it with the hashtag #NatureTalks. The reason we use this is because nature provides us with the lessons, time and space we need. You don’t see a tree desperately holding onto their leaves as the seasons change do you? They are very open to the change and know that letting go of their leaves will allow for the storm that would take them away anyway. They stand strong amongst all the chaos that surrounds them and they provide fun, shelter and protection for the people who come into contact with them. They are also VERY old so they must be doing something right to still be around lol. If your reading thinking I’m some crazy tree lady then… you would be right… but if this concerns you and your worried about the advise I am giving then just accept that getting outside is important. Trap yourself in the house for the day and see how you feel after. You will understand then and you will be our there talking to them trees in no time hahaha! Again, joking aside, get out of the house and run on the fields with your kids… Trees or no trees, you will feel better and the kids will love it too.

3 – Take the pressure off and do the simple things.
This is something I used to struggle with ALOT. I felt like I had to do the BIG things to make my son happy and ensure I was being a good mum. I would sign him up to all the classes, go to the cinema, meals out, day trips and whatever else I could find to fill my day. I felt pressure to keep up with everyone and everything. I would have fun sometimes but a lot of the time it was stressful to do these things and let’s me honest, kids can make it hard when they don’t behave how you expect them too. A meal out is nice for us, but sitting in one spot and behaving yourself for a long period of time is hell for a child. Chips out of a bag at the park is a more then adequate meal for a child’s happiness and although it’s not our idea of the perfect evening I promise you will enjoy yourself more if you just chill and go with the flow. Picnics in the garden are different and fun for the kids and so is a picnic on the couch with a film on the tele. No driving across town, no traffic, no arguments (well no public ones anyway:-) and no need to leave so you can give your kid some time out in their room lol. You may have already figured this out for yourself but it took me ages to realise that my child just wanted my time and attention, he didn’t care where we were really. He just wanted ME.

4 – Find your tribe.

Being a mum can be lonely. We can find it hard to be on our own with our little ones, but we can also find it hard to be around other mums too lol. When I had sonny I was 22, depressed and sick of pretending I was OK. I felt like I didn’t fit in and that everyone was just getting on with it when I couldn’t. I used to isolate myself and spend a lot of time on my own as a result and… Well… That didn’t help me either. My advice to you is to find a tribe that you can meet up with and be honest with. Sharing your struggle can be the one thing you need to be able to get through another day. Pretending you are OK, isn’t OK, but it is OK to not be OK all of the time… Does that sound OK lol? Find your tribe and love them hard. They are the precious ones who will help you through.

5 – Do your best with what you have and be kind to yourself.
We all know that eating well and exercising can have a hugely positive effect on our bodies and minds. During term time we probably got ourselves into a nice routine of gym sessions, silent salads at lunchtime and morning yoga (obviously painting a more then pretty picture here, but you get what I mean) but when the holidays come this can go out the window.  The reason this happens is, again, because we are not adapting to the change and we are expecting things to stay the same. They WILL NOT be the same and we MUST adjust if we are to have any chance of fitting into our jeans or be able to honestly say we are sane by the end of it all.
Set yourself some weekly or even daily goals and stick to them, BUT also be kind to yourself if it all goes to shit. We can only do what we can with what we have and sometimes the plan doesn’t go to plan. I can however assure you that the plan has no chance of going to plan if you don’t even have one. Committing to a healthy breakfast, 2 litres of water, less caffeine, 20 minutes yoga or HITT training are all examples of the daily and weekly goals you can set yourself. It could be a great opportunity to try things you haven’t before and it will also let you see that things don’t have to be perfect for you to make It happen.

As always The Feel Fabulous Project will have your back all year round so if you are finding the holidays a daunting prospect and your worried about your own, old negative patterns coming back then come and see how we can help. From online support and weekly coaching to meet ups, events and exercise sessions outside that you can bring the kids too, we have what you need to keep the steam train running. We might not have all the answers to all your problems, but we do have the tools, guidance and support that will help you deal with is all one day at a time.

Lots of love as always

Stacey x x

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